This is Wayne's World

Some Fridays I eat a McDonald’s breakfast. Sausage and egg McMuffin, hash brown and a coffee. I wish it wasn’t so good but damn it. It is.

I take issue with McD’s because of it’s size.

It’s such a big company. Why should I trust anything it or they say. After all if I don’t then someone else is spending money there so why even try to get me through the door. There are that many stores about that at some stage in my life it’ll become an unavoidable unfortunate fact that I’ll be in McD’s eating a fucking BigMac.

Another issue I take with the clown is…..

Labeling a burger as 100% beef just doesn’t wash with me. I know what trading standards class as beef and it ain’t pretty but that said I enjoy a bag of pork scratchings with a beer so give me your bone and connective tissue burger. That’s fine but don’t pretend it’s something it’s not. Imagine how many cows it’d take for all the prime cuts of meat to make all the BigMacs eaten in a day. Imagine all the wasted bits of cow! Ronald ain’t that dumb folks. He’s not wasting one bit of that beast for your fine burger. Which incidentally tastes like cardboard with no relish, mayo or salad.

I know what I sound like and I know that in a way I’m talking shit because from time to time I too go and eat and even enjoy a McD’s. But it still bugs me. The corporation versus the people. Grrrrr.

So back to my story.

The other Friday I said NO.
Like the first ever speaking chimp in the legend of the film Planet of the Apes.
I said no and heard angels sing.
I felt the future of mankind change right before my eyes.
I was touched by a new breed of perfection.
I saw a land of green pastures that spoke of truth and freedom.
I heard the sounds of peace ring out across nations.
Everyman held the hand of the man next to him and love was all that was left.
The final hurdle had been jumped and at last we were complete.

Then I watched the person next to me eat their sausage and egg McMuffin and I got fucking jealous!

We can but dream