This is Wayne's World

One word for this…….Knobs!
I’m not been funny but this post is me venting my bemusement at some folks opinions for what are simply put, classic albums.

Today I’m dealing with Rock albums and the albums in question are:

• Appetite For Destruction
• Master of Puppets
• Back in Black
• Bat Out of Hell

Classics I’m sure you’ll agree. Now don’t give me the ‘not everyone can like the same thing, blah blah’ speech. Your right but as I’ve previously put. THIS IS MY OPINION! All the reviews come from Amazon and you can link to the review by clicking the image…..

Lets start with

Bat Out of Hell

One of the biggest selling albums of all time and a brilliant slice of operatic rock. Not a filler in sight, not even Heaven Can Wait. No seriously.
Some fool wrote:-

“This album epitomises everything I hate about rock music. From the ridiculous cover art, the over production, the pompous and overlong arrangements to the absurd lyrics and over the top vocals. I am not sure how anyone can take this album seriously. The title track in particular has scarred me for life because everytime I hear it I feel like committing murder and if I ever bump into Jim Steinman or Meat Loaf I most probably will. This is the least they deserve for inflicting such inane and pretentious drivel on the world.”

I hope this person does bump into Jim Steinman or Meatloaf and they stick the nut on him.

Next.

Back in Black by AC/DC

One of my favourite albums of all time…..Rock solid grooves, great vocals and bluesy as F#*k!
Well not according to this joker:-

“All I hear when listening to this album is noise! There exists no quality tunes, very poor lyrics, and to top it all off more guitars than you can shake a stick at. I think Angus Young gets it totally wrong when he entitles the last track “Rock ‘N’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution”. In the same track he “sings”: Rock ‘n’ roll ain’t never gonna die…based on this album let us hope he’s wrong.”

All I hear when reading your review is your pathetic whining, sigh!

OK.
Relax a moment because we now move on to

Master of Puppets by Metallica

So many good points to note about Metallica’s music, I’m not even going to start. Master of Puppets is my fave and in rock circles a solid heavy metal/thrash metal classic.
To be fair. Good effort but come on !!

“Imagine, if you will……that you are standing at the bottom of a rolling, grass-covered hill holding a microphone connected to a recording device.
Leading up the side of that hill is a long gravel path & at the other end of the path, right at the top of the hill, is your best friend who is stood next to an empty metal dustbin.
With a pre-arranged wave, you signal to your friend to let the dustbin roll down that gravel path while you record the sounds that the dustbin makes.
Then, with maybe a recording that is 30 seconds long, you take it home and loop it, over-and-over again until it turns into a recording that is about 40 minutes long.
Congratulations, as you have now made, completely legally, a 100% authentic copy of “Master Of Puppets” and with the money you have saved, you can now treat yourself to a proper hard rock album made by musicians who aren’t so eager to reach the end of the song before the other members of the band. ”

Very funny but wrong Knob head.

I’ve saved the best to last……

Appetite For Destruction by Guns n Roses

Simply put this album is almost perfect. A brilliant album of music full stop. Let alone rock music.
So whats this pricks problem? :-

“My brother brought me this album for me for some reason, and no matter how open minded I try to be, it still sounds terrible. The stagnant and repetitive guitar work of slash is awful, he can do a good solo, but there all the same and far to long. The song writing is terrible and Axl’s voice screeches from track to track showing no vocal skill whatsoever. This album was by a band who desperately tried to copy the left overs from 80′s hair metal. It’s unoriginal and boring. Giving it one star is being generous.”

Your Brother gave you the best gift you’ve ever received and you spat in his face. Dear oh dear!